expectations are a bad thing. you shouldn't expect... you'd only get disappointed... and don't i just know it.
had lunch with balqui last friday. brought along an officemate.. gulat siya to know how old we really were. hahaha. nubayan, masyado na ito ah.
na-senti tuloy ako. back when we worked for the company that must not be named. no regrets that i accepted that offer. i learned a lot and that laid a good solid foundation for me. it was great to have worked with some of the country's best engineers. naalala ko yung challenge namin as QA was to find a bug in Neil's code. hahaha. good luck na lang. i mean sure the project wasn't perfect but you knew everyone had that commitment to quality. (or at least i hope we all did) and everyone worked hard and worked smart. well, some smarter than others. hehehe. yes there were big egos, but it wasn't just ego.. they could back it up.
and that is the standard that i get to compare all other work-related experience.. and sadly, it doesn't come up to par. i guess hinahanap ko pa rin yung camaraderie ng btkups and that kind of work ethic.
Don't get me wrong, there are individuals in the team that are great and i wish i could have worked more closely with them before they all left. Bilib talaga ako kay Mark pumili ng tao, ang galing lahat ng SM and DBA Team that I've worked with. Eric, Joyce, Rockie, Perey, Poch, Mike, Fred, Yayie... and they help keep me going in spite of... Ngayon si Fred at Yayie na lang natitira sa STAR, yung mga iba nalipat ng project o nagresign. Of course there will be new faces. pero nalulungkot ako dahil yung mga magagaling ay unti-unting umaalis. parang sa company that must not be named dati.. si jop na lang yta ang orig btkups-qa na nandun.
i usually take a cab to get to work. once in a while i get the chatty driver who tells his life story and who asks about yours. you can be amazed at how much they can squeeze into a 15-20 minute commute. normally i spend that time praying the rosary.
one morning several weeks back, i hailed another cab. usually upon getting in i would say manong sa ortigas po tayo, daan tayo ng shaw, kaliwa sa edsa, kanan sa shangri-la, papunta ng smpc. this morning was no different. i noticed that he had a police jacket draped over the driver's seat but one of those, oh ok observations. anyway, i got my rosary and proceeded to pray.
the route would go thru addition hills with its many twists and turns, since he didn't ask for guidance, i assumed he knew the way. when we reached one particular intersection he asked if he was going to turn right ( e di pag ganun balik kami sa bahay ko di b?) From there i proceeded to guide him.
Tapos sa shaw nandun siya nakapila sa flyover .. so sinabi ko sa ilalim po tayo.. napapanic yata ako at medyo malakas at high pitched ang aking boses (wlang hihirit na normal voice ko ay high pitched) Tapos nung kumaliwa ng edsa hindi sha dun sa rightmost lane nakapila.. so sabi ko kanan po tayo sa shang, (backseat driver ang lola e.. hahaha)
e walang response so inulit ko.. at bigla siyang nagalit! sabi kanina pa ako nakakahalata sa inyo a parang minamaliit ko raw siya. kawawa raw yung mga maliliit na tao sa akin. pulis daw sha.yung serbisyo nabibili yung dangal hindi. kelangan daw respetuhin ko sha.kahit na hindi sha pulis,parang magrespeto raw ako ng tao. hindi raw siya bingi bakit ang lakas ng boses ko!? tapos minura pa ako.
ako naman... huh?!? saan nanggaling yun? medyo nagulat ako kasi madalas reklamo sa akin napakahina ng boses ko at hindi nila marinig yung direksyon. naisip ko ano kayang nakapinta sa mukha ko habang nagdadasal ako? gusto ko sabihin uh manong.. hindi ko naman kayo pinapansin e. but i think it would have made it worse. since i only paid attention when it came to the turns. that was the first time i had a cab driver complain. napaisip ako ganun ba ako? binibiro ako ng isa kong kaibigan niyurakan ko raw ang kanyang pagkatao. pero napaisip din ako e. was i so self-absorbed that i didn't notice how my actions (or lack thereof) are affecting others?
maybe he was used to getting attention because he's a police officer. ako naman, ok so pulis ka, what makes you more special the the rest of us? at bakit may maliliit na tao? kung medyo pilosopo pa ako sasabihin ko ah manong maliit din po ako. hindi ba pantay-pantay tayo? parang why segregate yourself from the rest? we're all equals, then again that may be due to my naivete. as my friend said you can't force respect. even though i believe in basic respect for the other. in the end i just apologized if i had hurt him. minura lang ako... as in p***** bumaba ka na nga.
i guess he felt that i didn't give him sufficient attention, and in a way that's the biggest insult you could give to another, by not acknowledging their presence. eh ako pa naman medyo manhid din.
yes i was shaken by that experience, and i guess the good thing about it is, it made me more aware of my actions. so next time hindi na ako sasakay ng taxi na pulis ang nagmamaneho. hahaha. seriously, it was a learning experience, and i guess i'm a bit more cautious now in how my actions may be interpreted.
