life's too short...

i really hate this year. i know a lot of good things have happened but somehow the bad outweigh the good. it seems to be a year filled with loss. (how ironic is that?) broken relationships, friendships, deaths, you name it, it has all happened.

i was working from home last thursday. that afternon i looked at my phone, i was surprised to see a missed call from Ferdie and several text messages. my phone was on silent mode so i wasn't able to notice it ringing. among the messages was one from the caller. It simply said: Lo. Jo Ramos jst passed away ths pm.

i was shocked. thinking maybe this was all a bad joke, or it's a different Jo Ramos (as Alvin said who's Jo? Yung anak ni Fidel?!? di ko alam kung tatawa ako o iiyak e, sunod na makita ko yun may batok.) i called Ferdie to confirm and he said it's true.. who, what,where,when,how, why.. so many questions but he didn't have the answers. He got the news from Errol, Jo's bf and it's understandable that Errol wouldn't be able to provide that info just yet.

So we were all on standby the greater part of the day. I haven't seen Jo for years but memories of her filled my mind. She was a batch higher. We were both from the same organization. She was like a big sister when I first joined. and a mother hen when she became our cell leader. she was so full of LIFE. parang kiti-kiti nga e. as Judy said she's one of the people who's presence easily fills the room. Not someone you could just ignore.

Later that night more news came, she died from cardiac arrest due to an infection that rapidly spread. She's been in the hospital since Monday due to back pains. They ran tests but no significant findings. Wednesday night Errol was still able to say good night. Early morning the chest pains occurred she was moved to ER but it was too late. Until now they still haven't determined the real cause.

The family already went home. Errol remained with Jo. He was guarding her body. Waiting for the morgue to take her away. That image stuck to my mind. Nung kinuwento ko kay Richie wala na lang siya masabi kundi Oh my God.

Friday night we went to her wake. It was good to see everyone again, but sad that it had to take someone dying to bring us together. We all asked Errol how he was. We knew how difficult it is for him. I remember how they were in college. Parang pinagbiyak na bunga. Even then we knew they are perfect for each other. He was handling it quite well. But as he said sobrang hirap. She's become such an integral part of his life. And he was saying how her stuff was still in his car. They were already planning on buying a condo, in fact that day was supposed to be the day they would be giving the papers, post dated cheques etc. They had already talked about getting married and planned for it. His biggest regret was not being able to propose. He was planning on doing so later this year. His wedding was already planned out. Ferdie was going to be the best man, i was going to be the flower girl, Toni was going to be the flower pot. Sabi nga nya sayang hindi na ako magiging flower girl.

Yes it was such a waste. She would've been 27 this August 15. Jo was a really special lady. I think she embodied what we tried to achieve in AtSCA. She got along well with everyone. Especially the manangs in park 7. Kasi nga hindi siya iba. I recalled how she would ask us to give the gift to her godchild in the area when she couldn't give it herself. As Errol said, it's still part of her yearly Christmas list. Those little thoughtful things that we've taken for granted. My regret was I wasn't able to reply to her text message earlier this year. I would have seen her alive and not in a casket.

I'm still half-expecting her to stand up and say .. You've been punked! I mean that would've been a mean joke, but it's better than the alternative. Hindi pa rin nga nagsi-sink in e. These are the times when you question why God allows such things to happen. But as Judy said, this is all part of His Plan and to trust Him. Difficult to do since we can't see what that plan is. It takes faith, i guess.

Her burial will be on Tuesday, at Loyola Memorial Marikina. We mourn the loss of such a great person. But I think her life has been lived fully. And another reminder for us that life is just too short and we have to make the most out of it. And maybe God has given her a reward, I trust that she's already with Him, watching over us too. She has been a sister, mother, now she will also be an angel.