true or false, no multiple choice questions please

decisions, indecisions. ok i still haven't come up with a decision on this job offer that i have. well i brought it upon myself. harhar. at least it's just a true or false question and not a multiple choice one. as my boyfriend once told me.. "how come you don't send out your resume to a lot of companies? pagsabay-sabayin mo na kasi. hindi mo kaya multiple choice? pang-true or false ka lang?" i don't think my system could handle that many choices.. hahaha. kung 1 lang nga stressed na stressed na ako, maramihan pa kaya?!?

a few months back i also had an offer from another company. it's a company that's known to be a slavedriver. actually, i never expected to get an offer. let's just say during the interviews, i was, er, brutally frank. but i appreciated my last interview with one of the managers. she was actually discouraging me from working there! that is funny because usually they would say, this is a very good company to work for, yada, yada, yada. i admire and thank her for her honesty. i was also equally open. just goes to show, honesty is always the best policy. ok so some may disagree but this is my blog, go write your own.

when i got the offer, i started fishing around. it was quite easy because i have a lot of friends who work/worked there. you get a mixed bag of reactions. some love it, others, well, not so much. but the training was supposed to be excellent. at this point, i don't need training as much as developing my expertise. plus, they couldn't give me an idea of the project i'd be working on. apparently the group that they mentioned was just a generic pool of developers, from the feedback i was getting, there's no immediate project. ok.. i was never the type who would like to be idle... which is why i'm so frustrated right now because i'm in between projects, twiddling my thumbs. oh and maybe brushing up on my java. so weighing the pros and cons i turned them down.

fast forward to now. there's no problem in making a decision when it's clearly black and white, but when we're talking about wonderful shades of grey... sigh. the difficulty in making this decision is both companies have something very good to offer. although career-wise this new company has a definite edge. on paper, the role and responsibilities seem very, very challenging, as i said i've never backed down from a good challenge. and i've been looking for more challenging tasks lately. again i've been fishing and you hear several conflicting answers. some say that the workload is a killer, some, that it's easier than when they were in the-company-that-must-not-be-named. ok but we must not compare it with said company because, well, in that company the customers are gods. work, slave, work! (don't get me wrong, i've enjoyed working there, again, despite the policies)

so i'm still on the precipice not knowing whether to jump on board another ship or remain in the safety of solid(?) ground. as with any company, you also get to forge relationships with your co-workers. and i will miss working in a team.

... but i am still restless. i guess i've never really felt as comfortable here as i did in my previous job. i am currently looking for that company where i can grow (old?) in. and this new company might be it. i'm still praying for an answer. i do hope i get to make the right decision.